Is Virginity a Must for a Happy Marriage?

From time immemorial a woman’s virginity has been her prized possession. Throughout history, one will read about cultures across the world placing a high value on a woman’s virginity. But times are changing and for an increasing number of young men and women, sex is no longer the kind of taboo that it earlier used to be. And much to our older generation’s charging, pre-marital sex is a definite reality of our times.

In fact, these days, couples who are in a relationship have no qualms about getting sexually intimate with each other even though there may be no guarantee that the relationship will lead to marriage. However, when it does come to the question of marriage, especially in the case of arranged marriages, a woman with a sexually active history still raises eyebrows and sets tongues wagging. What then is the big deal about virginity and how does this kind of a mentality hamper the lives of numerous women?

Some men prefer to marry virgins seeing other women who have lost theirs as a vestige; a leftover whereas in the real sense most of these men are not virgins themselves. In a relationship, if a couple is to make it work successfully, it is more important for the couple to worry about virtues like trust and honesty.

But there are some men who do not expect their partners to be virgins anymore because Nigeria has gone through a dramatic change in the past 10 years. Nigeria is no longer the closed society it was. The modern young Nigerian woman is working, independent and makes her own choices in life. It’s a change the Nigerian man has had to adapt to. Nonetheless, we cannot ignore that there is tremendous pressure on girls from smaller cities and more conservative families and virginity does still play a major factor when it comes to their marriage.

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It should be noted also that an intact hymen is not a sure sign of virginity. A woman’s hymen can be ruptured by non-sexual activities like intense sports, dancing, sitting astride on two-wheelers, etc.

It is not necessary for a virgin to bleed the first time she has sex. In fact, is one goes by the statistics, only 42 per cent of women do so. With the current advances in medical technology, a plastic surgeon can quite easily reconstruct a layer of tissue to resemble the hymen (the procedure is called Hymenoplasty).

Remember, virginity and chastity are not the only measures to base a happy marriage on, honesty and trust are far more important traits that both partners should possess.